Chapter 3

EVERYBODY at Pen Dyllas dined at one. That was one of the manners and customs of the place. Such an idea as u late dinner had never entered their primitive heads. Every- body was dining now, and what was more, almost everybody was dining on mutton ; for does not the sheep seem to be, par excellence, the beast of Wales ? In almost every house down Inkerman- terrace some self-sacrificing mother was tsaio- iiuj away at a neck, or a saddle, or a leg, trying to make it go satisfactorily the round of the ten children, and feasting

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on the cat's bit herself. In Breadalbane House there waa mutton too, and, to judge by the smell, it seemed to have been walking up and down the stairs all the morning, and paying a good long visit to each of the bedrooms in turn. Whatever it had been doing with itself all morning, however, there is no doubt that at the particular moment 1 allude to, it had just been set down on the parlour- table by a damsel, preeminent among women for the dirtiness of her fingers, the dilapidation of her wardrobe, and the exceeding Welsh- ness of her tongue. Very slovenly and unappetizing did the banquet look, after the manner of lodging-houses, and the family were gathering round the table languidly, ungreedily, for really the weather was too broiling for any viands less ethereal than ambrosia and claret-cup, and the flies were a great deal hungrier, and ate a great deal more than the Christians. There were places and nasty dull pewter forks for five, but only four were at present in possession. At the bottom of this social board, with his back to the cut-paper- adorned fireplace, anatomizing the late so-active Welsh leg, sat the Reverend Josiah Piggott, black-coated, clerical, flabby-faced. He was not a handsome man, certainly. I have seldom seen one less so ; but two or three very hand- some men might have been made out of him, for there was fleshy material enough in the vast acreage of his mild pendu- lous cheeks, in the bone-work of his portentous hooked nose, for several very good-looking countenances, if they could but be made up differently. Those who believed in the uncomfortable Pythagorean theory of the trans- migration of souls were much impressed with the idea that the spirit of the Eeverend Piggott had but recently evacuated the body of a well-fattened south-down. Even those who were sceptical as to this notion could not fail to remark that in the sound of Mr P.'s speech there was an un- deniable kinship to a baa. Opposite to him, employed in the distribution of the fly-haunted salad, sat Mrs Josiah Piggott, the partner of his joys, who, report said, had once

NOT WISELY, BUT TOO WELL. 17

been a fair enough woman to look upon. She was rather haggard and mahogany-coloured now, and in a chronic state of weariness from the requirements of her exacting old incubus, who had put himself on the sick-list exactly twenty years ago, and resolutely refused to get off it again. And yet, even though his best friends could not deny that he was unto them a very grievous bore, let it be clearly understood that he was in the main as worthy and benevolent and harmless an old south- down as ever waddled along in fleecy unwieldiness. Now for. the sides of the table. On one side, then, ruling over the potatoes, sat Margaret Chester, Kate's elder by three or four years. An elegant-looking young woman, people called her, — a vague term of approbation, I always think, — very fragile, and more ladylike than three-fourths of the well-bred women one might see in a county ball-room, with a figure whose exaggerated slenderness> and the tenuity of the 17-inch was^ waist, was not ungraceful in morning dress, but which dis- played very unmistakably that want of development which is so grievous and common a fault among English girls. How- ever, every one to his taste. The Americans, attenuated by hot rooms and incessant dancing and sweetmeat-eating, condemn our British beauty as being too much of the coarse and dairy- maid type. I have heard people say that Margaret's figure was more refined than Kate's. If that be the case, a skeleton's was more refined still. To continue : Miss Chester was gifted with that sort of nice-lookingness, arising principally from a passable nose, inoffensive eyes, and a rather clear unmixed complexion, which approaches very near the boundary-line of prettiness, and sometimes passes over it. After all, it is difficult to be very ugly when one is young. Vis-a-vis to her, with his soul absorbed in helping himself to cauliflower, sat Blount Chester, — a long-legged, loose-jointed, thoroughbred- looking hobbledehoy, ridiculously like Kate, only with an ex- pression of even more utter bliss and jubilation in the very fact of animal existence than hers on his jolly wide mouth, which seemed to have made itself yet wider by chronic laughter.

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18 NOT WISELY, BUT TOO WELL.

* Dear ma,' bleated the Eeverend Piggobt, — Mrs Piggott was not his mother, but his wife ; but he called her * dear ma ' by reason of their joint right of proprietorship in a precocious young gentleman of fourteen, at present honouring one of England's public schools with his company, — ' Dear ma, shall I give you a little bit of this mutton ? I'm afraid it does not look very nice, though I bought it myself. Now, my dear love, I'll tell you what I did : I went down to the market, and I made the man cut it off before me himself; and I told him my name, and I told him to send it up to Breadalbane House ; but I'm sure, dear ma, that this is not the same one that I chose — it is not nearly so fat. These tradespeople are so dishonest. Which day was it that I walked all the way down to the market? Don't you remember, my love? It was that day that I was so terribly giddy going up to bed.'

Whether it was the leg of his choice or another, Mrs Piggott signified her intention of partaking of it. The other two did the same ; so that for some little time his slow plump hands had to continue their cannibal occupation of dissecting a brother's limb.

' My love,' he began again, when his duties were ended, ' do you think I could eat a little bit of mutton 1 I am afraid I am not very hungry ; my head is not very well.' And he patted the sandy-brown hair that scantily covered his eminently respectable pate compassionately. ' I have been a good deal worried all morning, writing business-letters ; and I wanted you very much, dear ma, to consult you about Mrs Barton's business. I called for you all over the house, but I could not find you anywhere. It tired me a good deal ; but of course that did cot matter much,' he said with flabby plaintiveness.

' Indeed, love, I'm very sorry,' said Mrs Piggott, penitent yet cheery ; ' but I assure you I was only away ten minutes on the shore, with Maggie, looking for onyxes ; that was all, indeed, pappy.'

'It was not ten minutes,' said Maggie indignantly; 'it

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was only eight and a half, for I looked at the clock as we came in ; and we ran all the way from the post-office. Have you been to bathe to-day, Blount?' she continued rapidly, with great presence of mind, bent on stemming the current of Mr Piggott's laments, across the table to her brother, who was grinning covertly at his revered relative.

' I should think so,' said he expressively. f My good girl, you really should reflect before you ask such silly questions. What other way of improving the shining hours in this gay Babylon is there except dabbling them away in the water 1 Why, I swam right round in front of the ladies' bathing-place. I thought you'd be sure to see me; and I kicked up my heels, and made a tremendous splashing, in hopes you'd think I was drowning.'

' Promising amiable youth ! ' Maggie said, with an affec- tionate smile (I'm sure I don't know why, or for what re- markable virtues his sisters adored that young scamp so) ; * but you might .have saved yourself the trouble, for really I was so hot and cross- that I don't think I should have cared much if you had been.'

'Should you not? Well, that's the sensiblest speech I've heard you make for many a day. I say, what a set of idiots they are about here ! They cannot swim a stroke, one of them. What's become of Kitty, the flower of Dunblane 1 By-the-by, now I come to think of it, her name was not Kitty; it was Jessie.'

* I don't know,' said Miss Chester indifferently. (They

were not a family that made much fuss about one another ;.

never called one another ' dear,' and only kissed, as a great

ceremony, when setting off or on returning from a journey.)

She went out after breakfast with a book, and Tip went

vith her ; so I don't suppose she can have come to any harm.'

' Perhaps she has eloped with that red-headed youth that she admired so much yesterday — I always tell that girl that her levity will bring her to some fearful end — or perhaps the tide has washed her away,' said Blount, without emotion at

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the idea of either catastrophe. ' "Well, if she prefers the sad sea waves to her dinner, it's her business, not mine, however ranch I may deplore her infatuation.'

A few more bleats, a few more words, a few more mouthfuls of mutton, and then a running up-stairs was heard, and a young person in a blue-cotton gown came quickly in, rather hot, rather flushed, and a little bit cross in consequence.

' My love,' was Mr Piggott's meekly hortatory greeting, 1 1 wish you could manage to be in in proper time of a day ; you know, love, how much I like punctuality and order, and that I don't allow any irregularity in my house. Do you hear, my love 1 Don't let it occur again.'

' Early dinner is an institution that ought to have been abolished at the Christian era,' replied his dutiful niece, throwing off her hat, and sinking exhausted into her chair.

4 Hear, hear ! ' said Blount, rubbing his hands approvingly.

' It's a remnant of paganism,' continued Kate, half-laugh- ing, but cross still ; ' a disgrace to a civilized country. I wish some one would set up a Society for the Suppression of Early Dinners ; I would be chairman or secretary with all the pleasure imaginable.'

* I'd be bottle-holder,' cried Blount with excitement. 1 By-the-by, that's a mixture of metaphors.'

Poor Mr Piggott collapsed, silenced by the anathemas obliquely launched at him. Well he knew that it was for his ' stomach's sake, and his often infirmities,' like St Timothy's of old, that the daily banquet is so prematurely spread. Never from his partner's meek lips did he hear such rough language.

And then, having discharged the little darts of her ill- humour, Kate relapsed into amiability ; tried fruitlessly with warm white fingers to pat into tidiness and smoothness the hopelessly erratic locks of her dead-leaf hair, and telegraphed across the table to the sympathetic and responsive Blount a moue intended to be very ugly, and witheringly derisive of her unconscious adversary

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And then the father of the flock lifted up his voice, and baaed as follows :

* My dear loves, is not this the day that our kind friends, Sir Guy and Lady Stamer, invited us to dine with them 1 1 hope, dear mamsey, that you kept the note, that there may be no mistake 1 '

* Yes, love,' responded the female Piggott, ' it is the day. By-the-by, girls, which of you two is coming with us 1 '

1 Maggie,' said Kate.

' Kate/ said Maggie. Both very promptly.

' Of course you will go,' said Maggie.

She was looked upon by her friends and the public Li general, as a passing, lively, light-hearted individual; for after all, what do one's friends or the public know either about one ? But in private she was much given to fits of despondency when reflecting on Kate's dealings with her; and, indeed, heretofore she had not been very lucky.

' Of course you will go j you are one of those people whom fortune always favours. You always get everything you want.'

' Get everything I want ! ' said Kate, in a high key of surprise and indignation. 1 1 don't know what you mean. Why, if I got everything I wanted, do you suppose I should be sitting here now, eating cold mutton, and have this horrid old blue garment on 1 Not exactly.'

' Well, there are degrees of unluckiness,' said Maggie in a despondent tone : ' you may not be particularly fortunate in the abstract, but, compared to me, you are a prodigy of good luck.'

'I'll tell you what you shall do, my children,' suggested Blount, with a parental air ; ' you shall draw lots, and I'll hold them for you. I'll hold them quite fair, without fear or favour ; I promise I will. You know, so exactly are my affections balanced, that I don't care a straw which of you comes ; and, in fact, it won't kill me if neither of you do.'

* No, no,' cried Kate, clasping her little dimpled hands quite tragically on his shoulder, f indeed you sha'n't ; I al

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ways draw the shortest lot, and I'm sure you'd cheat me.' * My good Kitty,' he said, ' cast one more slur upon my probity, and I shall be compelled to box your ears. Well, if you persist in distrusting the best of brothers, let uncle Pig- go tt hold them ; you cannot suspect him.'

But Kate would not consent. She longed with such surprising intensity — surprising even to herself — for this trifling pleasure, that she could not bear to risk it on such a dangerous chance. And yet dinner-parties generally were a decided gene to her. Low within her soul she marvelled why Margaret could not yield to her without saying any more about it. What could it be to her ? and she felt almost spiteful towards the sister who would thus stand in her light. Somehow she could not eat any more of her fast-cooling mutton after that question was mooted, and her heart beat foolishly against its blue-cotton covering.

0 dear, O dear ! what should she do, if she should be left at home to-night in these close dull lodgings, with nothing to do but to picture to herself Margaret sitting listening — pleased, animated, flattered — to a certain deep man's voice, in whose tones she, poor fool, was beginning to find an odd sort of magic, of power to chase away all pain, and to evoke such great, such utter bliss as she had not begun to taste till now — such as she began now thirstily to long to take deep satisfying draughts of? How surprisingly bitter it was to imagine Maggie, by her jokes and little piquant fast speeches, calling up laughter and amusement into a certain dark strong face, which had begun of late to look into the still, private places of her soul as never man's face had looked before ! Even if Margaret did not snare the fancy of the owner of that face (as it was sadly possible she might), yet at all events she would have the privilege of being near him, of hearing him talk to other people — would have her fortunate fingers prisoned for one sweet second in his broad hand. 0 dear, 0 dear ! it made her hot and cold in a minute to think of it ; and she pushed away her plate, and drummed a dreary little tune on the table

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with her fingers to get rid of some small portion of her un- pleasant, silly excitement. Certainly it is possible to love one's sister very dearly, and yet at times to wish honestly that Providence had awarded her a cast in the eye or a crooked nose.

Then came comfort in a most unwonted, unlooked-for form : the voice of Mr Piggott, who spoke slowly (for his utterance was always rather impeded, by the fact of his tongue being a size or so too large for his mouth) as follows :

' Do you know, my love, I have been thinking that, if you °,ould make an excuse for me to our kind friends, perhaps it really would be better for me to stay at home. You know, dear ma, I'm not very fond of the night air, and I think the jolting of the carriage would not do my head any good. So, if you please, my love, I think you shall go without me ; and if I feel well enough, you know, I can take a little stroll along the shore this evening, if I take my time, and don't hurry myself too much. Don't you think so, my dear love ? '

' Yes, love, I daresay you could.'

Maggie jumped up, and clapped her hands impulsively.

' My dear Kate,' she said, laughing, ' let us embrace ; we were on the very verge of hating each other, but uncle Pig- gott's most judicious suggestion has restored peace to our souls, has not it 1 There's no need for drawing lots now, Blount, dear boy, because we can both go.'

* So much the worse,' said Blount, unfeelingly ; ' so much less room for me in the carriage.'

' I daresay it will be so much the worse for me, too,' replied Margaret, as a recollection of how Fate usually behaved to her came over her ; ' the chances are a thousand to one that, as usual, nobody will take the slightest notice of me. Of course I shall enact my usual role of foil to you all evening, Kate — Leah and Eachel over again. I wonder has anybody any idea how tired I am of being Leah. I suppose if I were amiable, I should enjoy it ; but as it is, I certainly don't.'

' Absurd ! ' said Kate, with brevity.

But for all that, she was as much relieved as if she had

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been reprieved from hanging ; and, in the satisfaction of hor soul, could not help smiling broadly — showing the dear little dimples in her white cheeks — foolish as it was to be so glad about such a trifle.

*I suppose Colonel Stamer will be there?' remarked Blount meditatively.

* Probably,' said Maggie ; ' I saw him driving through Aber Fynach this morning, with one of his sisters, looking as cross and bored— I wonder why men's sisters' society always has such a depressing effect upon them.'

* It has not on me,' said Blount, crossing his arms on the back of his chair, and reposing his smooth young chin on them ; * at least, I struggle against it, because I know they are a necessary evil. Stamer's sisters are particularly aggra- vated cases ; at least, they look so in church. I hate a person who never looks up from their book, and makes all the responses louder than the clerk.'

' You certainly cannot make that complaint of him,' said Maggie, laughing.

' No, I cannot. Do you know, my dear loves,' he said, with a faint but perceptible mimicking of his uncle's voice, 'that your little brother would give a good deal to be as strong as that fellow is ? Why, he is about as broad as this room, and as hard as iron,' he ended rapturously, turning to his sisters.

'What is the use of physical strength now-a-days?' Maggie said contemptuously. ' Jack-the-Giant-killer's day is over ! '

' Well, there's something in that,' replied the boy ; ' and yet it would be pleasant to think that you could knock down a fellow as soon as look at him, even if you don't mean to

try.'

' He has got an ugly face enough,' said Maggie dis- paragingly.

' Hem ! ' answered Blount, * neither one thing nor the other, I should say. I've seen a good many better, and a great many worse ; and besides, what does a man's fare

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matter ? I'd as soon have the face of an ourang-outang as any other, so as I had a good figure under it.'

'Well, he is not much like an ourang-outang, whatever else he is like ; in fact, I never saw any monkey look half su ill-tempered — they generally have a bland expression of countenance.'

* I suppose he will be there,' Blount said again. ' I hope so, for I want to talk to him about that army tutor Phillips, you know, at Woolwich. Somebody told me he had been there.'

1 1 think he will be there,' Kate said in a very small de- mure voice, entering into the conversation for the first time since it had fallen upon Colonel Stamer, and sedulously turn- ing away her head.

'And might I ask, my young friend, how you know1?' said her brother, all but overbalancing his chair in his laud- able endeavour to get a good view of her averted face ; ' are you the depository of that gallant officer's plans 1 '

' No — o,' said Kitty, in confusion, ' of course not ; what stupid things you do say ! But I happened to hear — '

1 Oh ! ' interrupted the boy, jumping up in a sort of ecstasy, as a new and invaluable light dawned on him, ' I see now. Well, I was slow of understanding. Of course, now I know why you were so- unaccountably anxious to go to-night ; it never struck me before — it actually never did ! 0 Catherine, Catherine, why did not you confide in your brother ? '

1 That's the last confidant we should choose,' said Margaret gaily; 'isn't it, Kate?'

* My daughter, will you be so good as to turn your face this way/ resumed the unfeeling youth ; and then, without saying anything, he called Margaret's attention to the fact very evident, though she was sitting with her back to the light, that Kate had suddenly undergone an unbecoming metamorphosis — being transformed from an unpainted garden lily into the gaudiest of gaudy peonies. She was made to look almost plain by the too generally diffused, too intense

26 NOT WISELY, BUT TOO WELL.

flush. It was one of the small family cruelties practised by the Chesters scrupulously to take notice of and point out each other's foolish, causeless blushes.

' I'm not blushing, Blount,' asseverated the poor peony, unwisely ; it is to be hoped for the sake of her veracity, that she believed what she said.

' Blushing ! ' said that young inquisitor, with an air of surprise and interest ; ' Oh dear no ! What made you think so ? Who said you were ? '

Then Kate rose up in her redness, and, half ashamed, half vexed, and yet half diverted (if there can be three halves in any whole), she ran round the table, and sprang upon him, soft-handed, boxed his ears, then fled out of the room quicker than the mild avuncular reproof could follow her.

And how did this most foolish of foolish virgins spend most of the glorious June afternoon? Why, in trying which amongst her poor little assortment of head-gears and bracelets and brooches made her by their aid seem most comely. This would be a happy evening, she felt sure. She did not know why she thought so, but she knew it would ; and so she would do her best to foil nature, and, in spite of all defects, would shine lovely to-night, in one pair of eyes, that ought to have terrified her by the way in which, absent or present, they now pursued and persistently looked away her girl's soul. Of course she did not care much about the owner of those eyes, she .remarked parenthetically to herself — they were no- thing to her ; but still he to whom they appertained, was a person whom one might naturally and harmlessly desire to please. And so she figured before the glass ; looked at her- self frontways, sideways, backways ; rubbed her cheeks to see whether she looked better red or white ; and finally came down adorned as a flower-filleted victim, to be offered to one of the coarse bloody rulers of Olympus in the old pagan times.

' My dear loves,' was the substance of Mr P.'s last baa, as they prepared to pack themselves into the fly, * be sure you put on your cloaks, all of you, and fasten them well round your

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throats. You young people do not know how dangerous the night air is. As for you, dear ma, you must positively pro- mise me to put your hood over your head when you come out of those hot rooms into the cold night air. Indeed, dear love, I cannot let you go unless you promise me this faithfully. And "be sure you come back in good time, or I shall be get- ting very uneasy about you all. And I hope you will all en- joy yourselves, my dear loves ; and be sure and make proper excuses to our kind friends for me, and Good-bye, my dear loves.'